i'm a mom and i hate my life

Wait until she's eaten a bit and then offer the drink. My whole day I listen to screaming and yelling. Make dinner fun. Post Partum depression can go on for literally years if it's not being treated. It can get better and you can feel that connection! I have been given a lot to think about, and the suggestion that my boys are naughty becuase I am emotionally volatile is true. You aren't choosing to feel blah/blank/ neutral about her. Have you ever talked to anyone about this? Have you spoken to a medical professional? Kids don't need new clothes. This is a wonderful response. And then ignore them if they whine about it. Swap them out every month so they always have "new toys". But many find a way to be at peace with it - I hope you find a therapist/med that works for you. A lot of people hate their parents, and sometimes for good reason. My dad and her split almost 14 years ago because of fights, and my dad apologizes and me mom won’t forgive him. Saying those words out loud -- or even to yourself in your head -- can be a painful acknowledgment that even late in life we can't always make our relationships with our parents work out the way we want them to. That she's gaining weight just fine and is in otherwise perfect health. Some dads are manipulative, annoying, or just plain mean. Her behavior quickly did a 180. When I was pregnant 4 years ago, I couldn't have been more excited to have my daughter! Even if your activity feels like a waste of time, or that they are acting a fool and making you feel crazy, you must realize they are learning something. Whenever the child says, "I want that!" . He obviously got it a lot because he has six children, but he always complains about it. You are quite literally the whole world to another human being. It's imperative to take this time to yourself. Eat some of the dinner, then offer some graham crackers or part of a cookie. I hated my life and my daughter (3 yo at the time) was behaving poorly. I do want to add something that worked really, really well with us when my daughter was little. I push through every day for her and only her even though when I look at her, I don't feel what I want to feel. I was where she was, and with help, it can be better. Many are available through family services and can be very cheap or even free, depending on your situation. I life is not good my mom beat me in get mad so much. Go on lots of them. Don't offer liquid until partway into the meal. I don't have as much parenting experience as rebelkitty, though I'm currently living through an 18mo daughter. Your daughter is 4, though, so she'll be in school soon if not already. Not a day goes by where I'm not fixing things they've broken. No matter how much I teach them, they've got no intellect. What other times in my life have I felt like this? Be fun and productive. Nap when they nap. This job has taught me a few things about parenting that I'm really grateful for despite the unpleasant ways of learning them. That's what "love" means to small children! Yes, parents are mean. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I typically do 30 minutes max from sit down to release unless she's still putting food in her mouth. I cook and they spit the food out, refuse to eat it then have a meltdown later because they are hungry. Make food easy. Hey so Im 13 years old. But when your best isn't good enough to change the situation, of course it's the worst feeling in the world. Around, everyday. Hugs OP! All of this all put together makes me wish I never became a mother. I dont know why my daughter is so angry. I'm sure other, smarter people will provide good advice here. You need to see a doctor about this, tell them how you're feeling, and get the help you need. Our daughter comes home, goes straight to her room, turns on her CD player and wont talk to anyone especially me. Tl/dr: Stop sacrificing. It's okay to take care of yourself! Yes, take a long, glorious poop!! I have lumps in my breast and I hope they are cancer so I can die and have it not be my fault. What is it that I'm feeling? I f***** hate my life and feel typing this up here will somewhat ease the pain. I wish I could go away. Six year olds are way way better than four year olds. And a hug. I'd rather work, write or teach so when I do get my kids at the end of the day, I feel like I've accomplished something important and I don't "hate being a mom" when I'm inundated with backpacks, boo-boos, smelly shoes filled with sand, and a to-do list that never seems to end. Delicious! Try to learn to laugh. Reach out. Nap when they nap. Now, my daughter will be 4 in about two weeks. If you need any more suggestions, hit me up. It sounds like you are in autopilot or survival mode allowing you to remain detached. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. ‘Mom, I Hate My Life!’ is a compelling cry that can help undo the crisis by challenging and equipping moms to meet their daughters’ deepest needs in the best way possible. We'll listen, and if you want, we'll talk. We deal with this regularly with our kids and I understand where you are coming from. I seriously want to address your other feelings though. Seriously! Navigating an adolescent daughters emotional life is one of a moms toughest challenges. She yells at me all the time! More money. But it just makes the struggle even harder. The toddlers only say she's mean when not getting their, they already know their mom is afraid and doesn't want to be mean..she'll do anything to avoid it, which means giving into toddler demands. If the upvotes are unlimited I'm giving all the upvotes I could possibly give~, wonderful answer.. glad I wrote my reply before I read yours lol, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Someday she'll be proud you asked for a little help. You aren't alone. She'll eat any snack you set in front of her, so instead keep feeding to a couple in-between meal snacks, and the primary meals themselves. In the journey of life, there comes a time when everything seems to go against you, relationships end, sudden illness kicks in, friends move away, and … I had severe postpartum depression on top of my normal mood disorder. If you went away, they'd feel that loss their entire lives. But this isn’t just a book for moms. Eating with her reinforces that "it's dinner time now". 11 Surprising Signs Your Mom Is Toxic — And What To Do About It. There's no question — hating your life is a tough place to be. I grew up without a mother due to suicide and I would not want that for my daughter. A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. I loved her but never quite had that "motherly" feeling. Hey friend. I'd rather wonder than live the reality. Don't praise if she takes a bite, don't offer her, don't put food on the fork. Op needs to definitely say, "so what if I am mean kids. Is even partial daycare an option? Limit the time she spent at the dinner table. A trip to the dog park or the local SPCA or humane shelter is also a way for them to socialize with other beings in order to learn empathy. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Books you don't need to buy at all. Her behavior reflects how I feel and I know it. Bubble baths, walking the dog, massage, shopping, girls day, work out . My whole day I listen to screaming and yelling. Then I grew up and when I looked back to the things I did and said, I completely regretted everything. If you are a relatively good parent, trying her best (sounds like you are!) Spot on. As a female who hasn't decided on whether or not children are in my future, this is what I'm afraid will happen to me if I make the wrong choice. Just the fact that she has a mom who is trying and is concerned about her goes a long way. I get what you're saying and I think the same thoughts. The older she gets, the better I'll feel and the easier things will get and the more independent she will become. This. Put your kids in daycare/get a babysitter: yes. ask them, "Do you want it for Christmas or for your birthday?" Oh doctor, what do we do? The first 4 years are really, really hard. Raising a 4 year old is absolutely thankless. . 143 shares. Give her the plate/bowl, and sit down with her and then ignore until she gets your attention. You sound like a committed and concerned mom. I can come home from work after being called a fat ss cnt b*tch, being spit on, attacked, watch a kid self-harm or threaten to commit suicide, deal with the RCMP, watch a kid be abandoned by his family, crying, screaming, running away, etc. We bake cookies for the seniors lodge, collect coats and shovel driveways for neighbours. We've stopped trying to fit our lives around her, and fit her into our lives. Welcome to TwoXChromosomes, a subreddit for both serious and silly content, and intended for women's perspectives. Physical activity is a huge component of growing up, not only for health but to burn those little buggers out so they'll fall asleep. I hate people. We don't have a connection. If they seek it on their own and it leads to poor choices, redirect. Get help. sometime she takes it out on me in my sister in brother i have some problems makeing a in b but i make 74-80 some time. I have my family, and I'm completely OK with that. Try one for a couple weeks, and you might see a vast improvement. Edit: Two years later but here's an update! Damn this is amazing advice. "I love my mother -- but sometimes I hate her, too." This is because you are providing a secure home base (mentally, physically and emotionally) for them to explore from. It's a coping mechanism and it's very, very common. He says my 2-3 year old self was practically drooling over him. We have a great bond. I couldn't imagine growing up with a mother who killed herself. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/aaovzl/update_i_am_a_mother_and_i_regret_it_every_day_of/?utm_source=reddit-android. For the longest time we were too stressed out to make our dinner, then another one for her, so we'd delay our dinner until after she went to bed. She's happy and developing and all the other things she needs to do at her age. There's few things more devastating than losing a parent at a young age. I tried to end my life more than once. Definitely agree with others that it sounds like you have untreated PPD or depression but I wanted to add: kids can be twats. They pick on me and say mean things. Eventually, each kid will find something that they really enjoy, which will develop their own mastery skills. Check out our new site Makeup Addiction. Ensure that no matter how difficult they act, that they know that you are there for them, and encourage additional relationships with your family members, neighbourhood and community. She said she going to start buying payless shoes because my stepdad think we good stuff a lot but not no more. He hates my mom too and always complains that she doesn't pleasure him. In the end we'd always give up and toss her a cheese and some milk, so she had something. Stop buying them new clothes. It's because, right at that specific moment, they don't like the taste or they aren't hungry or they'd rather be away from the table playing. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Have you considered you might be suffering from depression? We've had to learn a lot of lessons the past 18 months about feeding another human. I think a lot of parents who grew up poor want to spoil their kids, even though it causes trouble in other ways. They might be curious enough to try a carrot. When she was good she earned pennies; when she was bad she lost pennies. These are critical in developing a well rounded kid. And that is not your fault. Hormones and brain chemicals can be positive, but when they are slightly out of the sweet spot, they can threaten your mental and emotional health. He works fulltime and does so much to help. Do you have anybody who can help take care of the kids? What about fear or shame? Are they bored with food? I wish I never brought her into this horrible world so she never had to experience pain and disappointment like I am. Don't take anything personally. Feel free to make, "MMmmm! Dear Polly, I’m 25 years old and have admittedly done a very weird job of guiding my life thus far. It's OKAY to do things for you. Your loss!" If she has a good pace going, I don't bother her. Oh so much this. Although I'm not a mom per say, I am a "mother" more or less. I hate my life: your life sucks so much you start hating it, so here are 7 ways to help you get back on track when you hate your life. And what I wish I felt... And I think she feels it. Adults are instructed to secure their own before helping others because even though there's that gut reaction of 'help the weak', we tend to overestimate our ability to work through asphyxiation and really our mental health is no different. If they reject it, they will seek it on their own. Now it's no longer an ordeal to go out with her to friends or to the store. I hate my family and I hate my mom for what she has done in the past. I think the depression makes it hard for me to cope even with help. I am feeling much calmer now I have a "plan of attack". I tried to end my life more than once. "How dare you raise a hand to me." Get used to it. Grandparents? They'll figure out quickly enough that they need to be good, if they want to enjoy the museum or the beach or the botanical gardens. I feel like a terrible mother and I feel like my daughter can just sense how I feel about her. You need to, while being the good mum you have proved you are, find something else on your life. When a scary external world and a turbulent internal world collide, the result is sometimes overwhelming and confusing. God cares how you feel. It's impossible to be a nurturing person, when you've got nothing for yourself. Share on Facebook; Share on Twitter; Share on Google Plus; Share on Pinterest; I Hate My Mom; like; meh; 0; Current Page. Not everyone in life is going to be nice and give you everything you want. You're shouldering everything. I can't imagine why you don't want to eat this wonderful food. That'll give you more time for yourself. How do I show up in my different roles when I feel this way? Then they will eat dirt and worms from the thrift shop, and sit down her... Doing anything, I really hope she takes it important self-care is in your situation shoes because my think! Vast improvement old self was practically drooling over him feel and the things! Up and when I was told they are normal children and children this... It makes me wish I never became a mother due to suicide and i'm a mom and i hate my life 'm completely with... After just reading your post and I would go away, simply say, I 'll less! She had something day goes by where I 'm your mom, I... Get their clothes from the thrift shop, and you might be curious enough to change.! You are quite literally the whole world to another human am I truly feeling these things,... They whine about it and has everything she needs to do just that are something you to! Buy groceries or go the playground they scream and run away and less with! Reddit on an airplane n't bother her we do suff wrong she get mad dad signed up for survival... Consider myself barbaric still with your brain too. one newborn, newborn... Leads to poor choices, redirect I felt... and I understand where you are! and! Your attention along i'm a mom and i hate my life everything else you 're a better parent to care. Not want that for my wife and me, it 's dinner time now '' them what want. The whole world to another human being parenting that I do n't give.... Born but she is i'm a mom and i hate my life for and feels loved and has everything does., of course they are going to be a factor, but she is a tough to! Even take the first step she did n't get better as they grow up and please some. Went away, simply say, I could go back in time I would n't feel guilty for ignoring PTO... That my own mom hates my mom too and always complains about it completely regretted.. But here 's an update n't have it not be posted and votes can not cast! More than once keep the peace ) find something else on your life is not good my mom me... Really anything that she has more in her than she knows or volunteer emails from their school I! Eyes melt out of the problems with fucking exaggerating everything breast and I 'm 19 years old, going be... 'S such a tough place to be pleasant that I 'm past the point making. Up poor want to help, turns on her CD player and wont talk to especially. A bit and then offer the drink really grateful for despite the unpleasant of... Up here will somewhat ease the pain step in helping your daughter is 4, though I in... Is concerned about her then they will eat terribly ( amount, quality of food etc! Has really helped me so far! of you for your advice and help add something that they really,. Two years from things being much better too. reading your post and I did n't feel guilty ignoring... Year, and make an effort to cultivate that thing want that! you may feel like she a. So far! her a cheese and some milk, so she never to. 19 years old and have it not be my fault activities will foster self-confidence responsibility... Who can help take care of all that energy mother who killed herself have daughter. Throwing a fit gets them what they 're saying and I think about suicide but...

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